If it helps change one life, it will be so worth it.
World Mental Health Day 2021
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Sunday October 10th, 2021 - Andy Dickerson
This is a hard read. Trust me, it was harder to write.
This is a hard read. Trust me, it was harder to write.
So if you have a couple of minutes then I would appreciate your time.
Having given it a great amount of thought I have decided to run the Yorkshire Marathon both in memory of my wife Amanda and in support of my eldest son Joshua.
He has touched many people with his brave words in recent months and has inspired me to speak out today.
Most, but not all will know, that I tragically lost my wife just over two and a half years ago. Having battled with mental illness for around 5 years she took her own life and hung herself in our garage at home.
I came home from work to find her and to this day I could describe every single detail of what I saw.
To be honest, even if I hear the word suicide or mental illness it always puts me back in that room. No amount of counselling will ever change that.
The after effects are still being felt today. Despite all the happy times and memories, her suicide has left scars across the family and of course with all those that she touched.
Josh, Milly and Sam have been incredibly strong, but there are days and times when I know they are still processing their grief as they try to make sense of 'why?'.
The after effects are still being felt today. Despite all the happy times and memories, her suicide has left scars across the family and of course with all those that she touched. Josh, Milly and Sam have been incredibly strong, but there are days and times when I know they are still processing their grief as they try to make sense of 'why?'.
Watching Josh completing the London Marathon on Sunday was so emotional for me. Amanda would have been the loudest cheerleader on the route and would have given him the biggest hug possible at the end before fussing over him, not letting Georgie or me anywhere near.
We were fortunate as a family to have witnessed this when Josh and I completed the Chicago Marathon in 2013.
I am speaking out today through my tears in the hope that you may click the bottom link and send a few pounds to Mind so that the money used can hopefully prevent another family from the horrors we have gone through.
If it helps change one life it will be so worth it.
Following this run I personally want to try and let go of the troubled memories of the last few years of Amanda’s life. But I want to remember the amazing times we shared, and also feel that I can move forwards with my own life, in whatever shape that may take. It's been too hard for too long now.
Both physically and mentally I am not in a great place to undertake a marathon. I’ve flopped on all my long runs, troubled with both the heat and tightening muscles after just 12 miles. Hopefully cooler weather on the day will help, but I fully expect the emotion to be draining and this will be the one and only time I will run in Amanda's memory.
The thought of not letting anyone down who has contributed will be the main thing that will spur me on to try and catch my bloody son!
Joshua’s original donation target was £2,000, but with gift aid Josh has so far raised around £7,500. I would like to try and get him nearer to £10,000 if possible, so please help if you are able.
Finally, I don’t want to take this away from Josh. His challenge has been to run two marathons in two weeks for Mind. Without his courage to take this on I would not be on the start line on 17th October.
Much love,
Andy xxxx
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